Greetings one and all!!!

Welcome to another movie review from the Bat’s Belfry. I am your (unfortunately this month) host for another review. This month, to my absolute dismay comes the review (yes I am using this word a whole lot... I really haven’t a blasted clue what else to call this piss poor excuse for a vampire movie...). It actually took me three whole tries to sit through this movie.

This month's movie wasn’t even rated by Rotten Tomatoes... You know it has got to be a complete stinker if even their staff won’t sit through it long enough to give it a review...

OH!! Yeah. The title of the movie would be (completely opposite of this next word...) nice.

Movie: Midnight Mass
Run Time: 98 minutes of sheer torture
Director: Tony Mandile
Executive Producer: Paul Trimboli

Cast:

Douglas Gibson (Father Joe)
Marvin Schwartz (Father Palmeri)
Pamela Karp (Gwen)
Julia Cornish (Raven)
Dave Dwyer (Carl)
St James (Vishy 1)
Rev (Vishy 2)
Elizabeth Vance (Dakota)

Synopsis: (*chokes* do I have to?!?) OK! OK! Now let me get on with it. The overall concept was good. The concept was this. Vampires have struck out en masse, slowly at first, in Middle Eastern countries and staked a claim on the world. They have run uncensored across a land that does not believe they exist, so there is no real way for them to be dealt with. The Nations of the World have decided to cover up the unexplainable with some far fetched story about a virus spread by pollutants in the water... All this you learn in the first few minutes of the story from smatterings of 'News Broadcasts'...

Skip to the beach... Here we find a girl watching the sun and waves, smoking a ciggie oblivious to everything around her. Her name is Gwen.

She gets attacked by some rather unsavory people, whom you later find out are the Vishy. Vishy are watchdogs and hunters for vampires. They serve their 'masters' with an overwhelming desire to become vampires some day themselves. Not the nicest of people. They have all but turned on their fellow man in the vain hope of immortality and whatever they perceive as its benefits.

Gwen escapes and goes seeking the one person she, a confirmed atheist, ever had any thoughts of... A fallen priest by the name of Father Joseph. Yep, you may have guessed this already. The former priest is all but that now... Drunkard. Smoker. You name it and he probably has done it... Aside from the homosexuality that he was originally charged with that got him ousted from his parish... Did I mention that this fallen priest was also Catholic??

Anyway. One thing leads to another in their 'discussion' and she finds out that he might just be a lost cause, so sets out to do her level best to convince him otherwise, which includes everything from letting him know that his former Church was now the site of some rather 'unholy' actions to the fact that his 'replacement' priest, Father Palmeri, is the head of the little vampire coven that has taken refuge there.

*Shrugs* From there it progressively boars the hell out of its viewers with witless banter and inane talk. Switching mindlessly from one set of people to another without any real correlation and if you don't pay attention it can be a bit disconcerting.

I would suggest watching Modern Vampires long before even thinking about this one.

I honestly felt this movie was so horrible that I could not even rate it.

Rating: (can I go negatives???)

That's it. Another edition of the Bat’s Belfry...

Vitae Dominae

Belfazaar Ashantison

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